How Randy Bartered For ROASTED RAT in a Mexican Jail

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Here is a “Food Related” Barter story.
I’d been calling My friend Randy in Texas for a couple weeks
before he answered and told me where he’d been.
Randy did two tours in Iraq.
Got sprayed with Agent Orange – Got Cancer.
He was gone two weeks because he’d traveled to Mexico for a Drug Trial.
While smoking Marijuana outside the clinic
to ease the nausea – the local Cops Arrested him.
And locked him up in their dirt floor jail until he
Could bribe his way f-r-e-e.  Because “All Americanos are Rich.”
Randy had spent all his munny
on the Drug Trial.
AND he and his fellow prisoners were not fed often.  And not enough.  So
they caught RATS and dug a pit in the dirt.  Cut out the Entrails and Roasted
the rest of the rat and ATE them.
Randy was Starving when he hit upon a CRAZY Method
to Win the Respect of the others in Prison.  And be FIRST in Line for Roasted Rat.
I – Randy was Trained as a Black Opps Soldier.
II – And he was only 5 foot 8 inches tall.
III – So he hid behind the other Prisoners and Whenever a Prison Guard
came to the door to Add a Prisoner or Take one Away…
Randy jumped out from hiding – and beat the Guards up.  Being careful – He
told me – not to kill anybody.
IV – Randy became An INSTANT HERO to the other Prisoners.  And was given
a name.
“Americano Loco.”  (The Crazy American.)
V – The GOOD NEWS – All of the Prisoners pushed Randy to the front of the line
to get the First and biggest piece of Roasted Rat.
After beating up 1 or 2 or 3 Prison Guards.  They came back IN FORCE with Guns
and tied Randy to a bench.  And Bastinadoed his feet with police batons.
This went on day after day for two weeks
Until Randy was able to Yell his name to 2 College Kids
whose parents BRIBED their way out – as they passed his cell.
And told them to Tell them “Randy _______ US Soldier – Tell the American Embassy I’m here.”
That same day 20 Heavily Armed Marines Visited the Prison
and Got Randy out.