Got a Phone call from Frank.
Frank is a college student who goes to Church Religiously.
Frank says, “The Minister at Church Had the Youth Group Giving Away Bibles
at Red Lights This past Friday Night. The One who gives away the most
Bibles to passing motorists Gets Dinner For 2 At a Fancy Local Dinner Theater & Restaurant.”
“Let me Guess. When you try to give the passenger or driver in the car
a Bible – they Look away. Or Shake their heads “No”.
Frank Sounds Surprised. “Yeah, how did you know?
(Frank can’t see but I’m rolling my eyes.)
Frank again. “You helped me sell my Bee Keeping website. So I thought
You might be able to help me win the contest too.”
We Ask, “Ok to Ask a Couple Questions?”
“Sure,” Frank says.
QUESTION #1 – How much are these tickets if you have to pay cash?
Answer – “$175.00 Plus tip plus Parking plus Gas.
QUESTION #2 – “Who is winning the Contest so far? And How Many Bibles
do you have to give away to WIN?
Turns out a GIRL is winning.
One More Night and The Contest Ends.
Tonight is it.
And Frank Figures if he can give away 50 Bibles
he will win by a Big Margin.
“Last Question,” I say. “Who’s the girl you are trying to impress?
Frank Stammers for a while.
Me – “Ok, Ok. None of my Business. Just Checking why you are out at Night Torturing yourself like this.”
BIG BREATH –
“I can Guarantee You Will Win. I’ve coached Girl Scouts and Car Wash
fundraising groups to get Cars to Stop. Get a pen and paper.
“Instead of Scaring People in Cars
by coming at them waving a Bible
Like a Crazed Terrorist.
“We’re going to BARTER Something We KNOW They WANT
with these total
Strangers – At Night – Thru the Glass
of their Car Windows.”
“Step I – Buy 50 Scratch off 1.00 LOTTO tickets.
“Step II – Walk up to Cars at Stop Signs and HOLD a LOTTO ticket up
to their window.
“Step III – Make The Window Crank Motion with your hand.
“Step IV – Smile and Say, “I’m trying to Impress a girl by winning a contest
to give away the most Bibles. I’ll Give you this LOTTO ticket if you take a Bible
“Step V – The guy or girl will LAUGH. And Take Your LOTTO ticket
and Bible. And most will WISH YOU LUCK.”
Wanna Guess What Happened?
Frank gave away so many Bibles
that the Minister Ran Out And WON The Contest and the Girl.
(EDITORS NOTE – I Did Caution Frank Not To Tell Anyone
His Barter Secret. Most Ministers and Priests Don’t realize the Bible is full of
Barter stories. AND HAVE NO SENSE of HUMOR.)